so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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