i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
