Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My hand turned me down
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
