I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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