So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
