sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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