the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
