i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
50% drunk capacity currently
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
