I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
