I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
