So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
