Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
