I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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