so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
