either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
