Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
