Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
