sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
