something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
