what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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