after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
