I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
