Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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