Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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