I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
