yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
