My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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