Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
