your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
