I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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