Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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