Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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