Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize