I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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