people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
