I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize