he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
