gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
