rhymes with "ouble enetration"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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