Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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