Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
