just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
