Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
