Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
