Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
