cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
