i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
