there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
