it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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