She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found the puke drawer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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