Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
