question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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