I accidentally burped into my bong.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
