I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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