I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
