she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
