is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
