I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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