STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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