this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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