I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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