Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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